


Consent

by macavitykitsune



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-13 13:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2151870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macavitykitsune/pseuds/macavitykitsune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sesshoumaru interrupts Inuyasha and Kagome's wedding for a most unexpected reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Consent

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2006.

To his credit, Inuyasha was an honourable man….well…half-breed. So as soon as Kagome was of an appropriate age, he asked her hand in marriage. She agreed, of course, and a date was set for her marriage. They would be wed in the Feudal Era, and a smaller modern ceremony was arranged in Tokyo in the future so that her family could attend. They had decided to live mostly in the Feudal Era so that there wouldn't be too many questions when Kagome started having children who looked exactly like Inuyasha – fangs, ears, claws, the works. After all, in the future, only textbooks had dog ears, and while she had learnt the concealment spells they were difficult and required the wearer to maintain them with their own chi, and no child could do that.

Naraku was dead, Kohaku was alive, Sango and Miroku were busy making little demon-slaying perverts, Kaede was mikoing away despite her age, Shippou had finally found himself a steady girlfriend and had developed some really kick-ass powers as well as growing three or four feet taller, the rains were good, the flowers were blossoming and everything under the sun was humming with bliss.

This, itself, should have warned Inuyasha.

The day of the wedding dawned, and Inuyasha was waiting for his bride, still dressed in his red outfit. (No, I will NOT change that, wench, are you marrying me or the costume? So what if you're the only character in this show who gets to change her clothes? You want someone who looks pretty, go marry Nara-GAH!) Kagome was resplendent in a white wedding dress appropriate to the hybrid Shinto-Christian ceremony she had arranged – despite how strange it was for the time period, she really did like the vows. Everyone they knew was there; even Toutousai was present; his weird ox-thing grazing away in Kaede's herb garden. The only absentee was Myouga, who had left a year or so ago on his honeymoon with Shyouga and had found that tropical climes suited him better.

Kaede was officiating, since Miroku was the best man. The whole thing went off without a hitch until the whole 'If anyone should have any reason why this wedding should not take place, speak now, or forever hold your silence' part. Kagome had said wait three seconds, and only 2.5563 had passed before a cold, regal voice interrupted, 'I object.'

A ripple of stunned dismay ran through the small group gathered under the Goshinboku, and they turned around in unison to see the very last person anyone had expected to be present, much less to object – Sesshoumaru.

The inuyoukai was as aloof and gorgeous as ever, a light wind tossing his silver hair to one side as he regarded his brother and his would-be wife with distant, detached amber eyes. 'This wedding cannot take place.'

'Yeah?' Inuyasha snarled, one hand going instinctively to Tetsusaiga, which hung by his hip with Kagome's reluctant agreement. 'And why the hell not, crap-face?'

The silence held. The tension built.

Smirking widely, Sesshoumaru said, 'Jaken!'

The little kappa scuttled forward, holding a book that was nearly his size. Sesshoumaru picked it up, holding it against his body and flipping the pages with his sole arm with the ease of long practice. 'You can't wed the miko by demon law.'

'What law is that?' Inuyasha said. 'If this is going to be another demons-and-humans-aren't-supposed-to-intermarry-and-mikos-are-the-worst-of-all rant, you can take it elsewhere to someone who cares.'

'Insolent half-breed,' Sesshoumaru drawled with the lack of irritation of one who clearly knows himself to be the victor even before the duel is brought. 'I'm referring to Section 42, by-law 67, which states…' he flipped the page over.

' "By demon law, no demon shall wed until the age of five hundred. In the case of half-demons, which do not share the lifespan of demons, this age limit is reduced to three hundred."' Sesshoumaru snapped the book shut with a triumphant snap. 'There you have it, little brother. You're not old enough to get married.'

Inuyasha stomped over to the inuyoukai and grabbed the book from him. 'Here, let me see that,' he growled, leafing through it. He read for a few seconds and his face dropped. 'Oi, it really does say that.'

Sesshoumaru didn't reply, but his smirk widened even further.

'"Unless,"' Inuyasha said, and his face fell even further, ' "A blood relation above the age of consent, i.e. the demon or hanyou's father, mother or guardian, may provide consent to marry if the demon or hanyou wishes to marry, provided they are at least three-fifths the age of free consent."'

'Precisely,' Sesshoumaru said. 'And since both your parents are dead, as well as all other relatives on both sides of your family, that would mean that the sole person you can request permission from would be…me.' He took the book back from Inuyasha, who was quivering with rage, and handed it back to Jaken just in time to save it from an untimely demise.

'Er,' said Kagome, who was just beginning to snap out of the funk this entirely unexpected conversation had thrust her into. 'How old  _are_  you, Inuyasha?'

'250 years,' he mumbled.

'Well,' Sesshoumaru said, a satisfied flash of fangs. 'I'd better be going then.' With elaborate poise and deliberate slowness, he turned to leave.

'Wait a minute!' Kagome screeched. 'I'm not going to wait until I'm sixty-eight to marry him!'

'Too bad, miko,' Sesshoumaru said serenely, never looking back. 'If he doesn't ask permission, that's exactly what you'll have to do. Or you could break demon law and marry him, and render him, well, dysfunctional….' A pointed inflection that told Kagome exactly what that word meant, 'for that time period. There are a few spells required to be performed, you see, or the mating bond won't take effect.'

Inuyasha blanched as it hit him, somewhat later than Kagome. 'Hey! Urk! …all right,' he gritted out. 'All right.'

Sesshoumaru stopped, but didn't turn. 'All right, what, Inuyasha?'

'All right,' he snarled. 'I'masking.'

'I can't hear you.'

'I'mskngytltmmrryhr.'

'Still can't hear you.'

'LET ME MARRY HER, DAMMIT!' Inuyasha roared.

Sesshoumaru turned around, and the expression on his face reminded her strongly of Naraku. Kagome half expected him to say 'Kukuku,' but he only said, 'Hmm.'

'Say what?'

'Well, if you're going to get my consent, there are a few things I'll need before that.'

'Such as?' Inuyasha said suspiciously.

Sesshoumaru whipped a long piece of paper from his kimono. It went from his eyes to the ground. 'Condition 1/472: no more waving of Tetsusaiga in my face. Condition 2/472: no removal of limbs, appendages, or other parts of my body. Condition 3/472…'

By the time he had finished, it was late afternoon. Several members of the wedding party had fallen asleep. '…and that's all,' Sesshoumaru finished. Inuyasha's eyes were popping out, and he was twitching spasmodically as he tried not to snarl at his brother (condition 75) or call him names (condition 247). Kagome was resting her head wearily on the altar.

'That's it?' Inuyasha said with tentative, desperate hope.

'That's it,' Sesshoumaru told him. 'Now if you'll just sign here on the dotted line….you  _do_ know how to write, don't you, Inuyasha?…now, now, growling is against condition 132…right, that's it.' Sesshoumaru tucked the signed piece of paper away in its original hiding place. 'Right.' He waved a set of perfectly manicured claws in the air over Inuyasha's head and muttered an incantation. 'Done.'

'Done?' Inuyasha said, not daring to believe that it was all over.

'Done. My congratulations to you, and my condolences to the miko.' He nodded companionably at Kagome before leaving.

'Oi!' Inuyasha cried, outraged by his last comment.

'Oh, shut up and let's get married before anything else goes wrong,' Kagome said. Sesshoumaru's sharp ears caught her next mumble, and his stern demeanour cracked; but he had already turned away from the others, and no one except a bewildered and slightly freaked-out Rin and Jaken witnessed it when, once out of earshot, Sesshoumaru, the Lord of the Western Lands, the Aristocratic Assassin, the Ice Prince – collapsed in a fit of uncharacteristic giggles.

'Way to make me feel like an older woman.'

**Author's Note:**

> If there's one gag I hate, it's the marriage-interruption trick. This may or may not also be an expression of my frustration with fandom's general weird fixation on "sexy waiting", so to speak, where much is made (in a creepy way) of how a female character is allllllmost ready for sex... but not quite.... and so on, which is at least 50% of the reason I rarely read F/M longfic.


End file.
